So the world is going to end this Friday. Here are our top 5 tips of things you should do before it does.
1. Get fucked
Literally, If you are going to go out you might aswell go out with a bang. So grab yourself a partner and fuck like its 1999. Of course if no one wants to sleep with you, you can substitute a person for a dog, cat , kangaroo etc. just make sure to spread the love.
2. Quit work.
Lets face it, nobody wants to spend their last few days on this planet working. So why not jack it all in and free up some important time for yourself. Ring that arrogant loaded boss now and tell him to get stuffed
3. Go on a holiday
you don’t want to leave this world without a tan do you. Now you can do what those slappers do on Geordie shore and get a fake tan, but I would like to think we are all better than those vile creatures so only real tans will do. Time to book the next flight to oz, its their summer there now.
4. Speak your Mind
lets face it, there is always a time when we bite our tongues to keep the peace or to stop yourself from hurting someone’s feelings. Now is the time to get this off your chest. Go On, I promise you will feel better with everything out in the open. (p.s James if your reading this, I fucked your mum 2 years ago before prom. Man she sucks like a dyson)
5. Spend time with the family
Yes we are a bit vile and gruesome here at SAF but that does not mean we don’t love our mums. Spend time with your family, laugh, joke and tell stories and embrace every moment of it, it might be the last chance you have with each other. GET ME A BUCKET
So there you have it, our top 5 tips before the world ends. It may not protect you from oblivion but at least, when the time does come you will feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. (and no ladies that is not because I jazzed in your mouth)
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