A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
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